My Diagnosis

Last night was the last night in a very troubled weekend. I won't get into all that here, but I will say that it happens occasionally that life seems to flush me right down and out. Yes, I know that sounds more than a little self-pitying. Regardless, it's hard for a lot of people to remain positive when the negative is so loud. But it doesn't take much. For example, I have a tiny little 3 year old 40 pound miracle living in my house that, while many times is a challenge, does also sometimes reward me with pearls of glowing wisdom just when I need it. My kid has been known to lay a gentle hand on my cheek and say something profound just when I had forgotten profound happens. Last night she was sitting with me and her dad on the couch and pretending to be our doctor. She diagnosed David first, placing a light-up pen against his arm and proclaiming that she knew what he needed to feel better. "You need to live for mommy and for me." is what she said. And to me, after pressing the pen to my forehead, she looked in my eyes and held my face and said, "I know what you need to feel better. You need to live hard...and love people." I have been thinking about this all day. Live hard. Love people. She was not privy to the conversations her dad and I had been having earlier, or to the moment I spent on the front porch alone, talking to the memory of my father, but this felt very much like an answer to unasked questions. Live hard. Love people. It's simple, but it's everything. She's a good egg, that one. I got up this morning feeling energized, feeling awake and alive, feeling ready. I jump in with both feet, with my eyes open, with my arms outstretched. I declare 2011 the Year of Living Hard and Loving People. What about you?

xoxo
Laurelin